to those who suck at life

It seems I remember now how strange I am. How lost. How little in how big a world. I lack direction and motivation. I lack the one thing I yearn for... a mate. I give up for the time being on hoping there will ever be one. How could he win my heart over like Evan did... especially now that my heart is old and wise? No. If I am too make it I must assume that I make it largely on my own.

Yeah I have friends but I am giving independence a try. It will not be easy at first. My body is shaky and I want to curl up and hide. Instead I will build muscles... grow strong... thrive. It is odd that I am trying to become what I once was. I must instead decide what I want to be and become it.

Only I dont know what I want to be. Some mixture perhaps of the independent charismatic and interesting people I love. Leave behind the worries and the shame. I will become strong. I will build my characteristics like muscles... by ripping them apart and letting them heal. I will be tough. I will laugh and love deeply.