sheriff tom

So... for those of you who haven't heard the story of my life this past weekend a million jillion times, I would like to herein recite it. This past Friday was spent in jolly merrification of eggnogs and hot cocoas with Ben and Freddy, complete with a walk to our friendly local grocer's... Gary's. So it went off without a hitch.

Now I knew that Saturday evening was going to be quite the feat since I had made a total of five social engagements for the same exact evening (starting at around 3p) and was invited to another one that very same afternoon. Little did I know what the next 24 hours would contain.

Firstably I was to meet Evan in the Ratt at 3p in order to receive my fine waterbottle back so that I could grab some sodas at dinner for the party that evening. However, upon arriving in the Ratt Evan informed me that he had ordered a pizza and invited me to share it with him. Simultaneously I realized that I would not be making it to dinner at all because I had told Jess I would go to view "Narnia" with her at 5p. Therein I proceeded to procur a brown bag for dinner from the Ratt and joyously partake in onion pizza while watching some show about fixing a car, which Evan enjoyed immensely. It was then that I realized my journey to claim my waterbottle was futile seeing as I would no longer be attending dinner. Hencely I asked Evan if he had a quarter I could borrow and he assured me he did, but that we would have to journey to his place of living in order to retrieve it. Thusly when I arrived in Pfeiffer I was accosted by Ben who insisted I should eat pancakes. Instead I played some pool with Ben, Freddy, and Bette until I had to go meet Jess for the movie.

Secondly, I ended up back in my room at around 4:40p where Jess was getting ready to go elsewhere thinking wrongly that I had forgot our plans. We went to said movie and I enjoyed it quite thoroughly, though Jess slept through virtually the entire movie. I also has two largish cups of soda whilst at the cinema and proceeded to become, through effects of the caffeine and such a delightful showing, quite exhilarated. I believe my exact words were "Jess, I am in such a good mood. I will never be in a bad mood again." Fool.

Thirdly, I rushed up to Kimly's room fully expecting to meet both herself and Arlo and mayhaps even Freddy to partake in alcoholic beverages and british comedy with. I found only Kimly who gave me a thorough scolding for being so remiss as to show up an hour late (the tickets for the 5:30 show had been unattainable and we had to wait til 6:30). Then I ran about in a caffeined and frenzied state in a quest to find Arlo who had assured us of his presence. After a goodly forty minutes of searching we found said Arlo with other friends having completely forgotten us. He was upset she was upset and I was upset that they were upset. I ended up at a cuddle orgy with Ben, but left before the cuddling began to attend the fine winter party where I expected to find Evan as the DJ.

Fourthly, I found the party had shut down early and I helped them clean up. I also proceeded to spend some "quality time" with Evan leading to further realizations of precisely how "doomed" I still am.

Fifthly, I finally met up with my good friends Freddy, Ben, Bette, and Natalie in the great hopes that I would get some pizza with my unspent dollar. However, in the last moments I realized that Jess still had my keys and Natalie was too tired to drive and all other partisans were incapable of such activities.

So with our tails between our legs, as it were, Freddy and I journeyed back to my place of dwelling and on the way Freddy was inspired enough to inquire "Want to get trashed?" And I was quite amenable and proceeded the imbibing of some choice beverages combined with the orange soda I did indeed buy with my dollar. I proceeded to lecture to Freddy about how important art and philosophy are and as I became more and more intoxicated I am sure that I made less and less sense as well as offending any scientist within earshot of me. Freddy is a physicist. Suffice it to say he did not take kindly to this and I responded in my kind by overreacting (especially under the influence of that demon liquor) and bawled my eyes out for some length of time whilst the room spun uncontrollably. I had not consumed very much but I had consumed it quite quickly. Freddy spent the night.

4a... our good hero sleeps.

Four hours later I was awakened by a phone call asking for Jess when I said she was not there they asked again and I in my cheery lack of sleep hungover condition rather snapped at the fellow wherein he indulged that he was Sheriff Tom, my car was being towed, and Jess was in the hospital... all in one sentence. This, I must say, was the most unpleasant way to be awoken that I have ever happed upon. Long story shorter Jess is fine but my car is short a passenger side window and a mirror among other things. Also, Corporate Hardee's has agreed to pay for said damages because Jess was on the clock when the rolling over of my car occurred. I spent all afternoon today trying to get my car, but it all failed. I am slightly annoyed simply because I never told Jess she could use my car and because I feel she could have done more today in order to get my car back. This means the earliest I can get my car in to be fixed is tomorrow... I was sposed to be driving home this coming Thursday morn but it seems that I might have to lay low for a while after that before I will regain a healthy car.

All in all things could be worse. However, I am stressed as a smooshed worm. And I feel twice as frazzled. I'll never be in a good mood again...