Bliss

Today has been one of the happiest days of my life. Not in the usual bouncy overwhelmed with joy sense, but in a way that has left me with a deep seated sense of peace and renewed faith in humanity. Or maybe just the potential of humanity and my ability to be patient enough to be receptive towards it. My computer is being taken care of, and there are many wonderful things left in the world for me to discover. Hope has been restored in my heart to almost as full as it once was. Today seemed the beginning of a new era... my mind during my sleep last night finally reached some kind of new milestone or understanding that shifted my entire perception to one that was much more positive and favorable toward mankind. Truth... I have doubted for some time that it existed... but now I am reminded why I value it so much. Suffice it to say... I <3 existentialism, and current circumstances. I feel that I have worked hard for, and earned, the happiness I have at this moment. It is not ignorant bliss but rather a peace after a long war. Though I have had help from friends and fate, I feel that in the end the real battle was fought by me alone at night crying in the dark and fighting to make sense and meaning and order and potential in my mind and in my life. Perhaps I have a future. Who Knows?

That being said... my family visited recently. My parents still stress me out beyond all healthy bounds. I can chose to distant myself from them, and I have. The hard part is chosing not to be bitter or to not feel guilty for distancing myself.