Exactly

Too good to be true.

Growing up I never used to be very afraid of death. Or actually, I just avoided thinking about it most days and wished for it other days. A little over three years ago marked the end of that. I finally decided to live. In fact I became a bit of a hedonist. And suddenly I was vividly afraid to die. It panics me to think of its inevitability. However...

For these past few years I can always tell when I am entering the "happy" stage of my cycle-of-Hope's-emotions, because I suddenly am reminded of this fear. Right before this stage is my lowest stage... usually pretty depressed and obsessed with ghosts and torture. Then bam! I am afraid of death, and the fear of death reminds me of what I value in life, and pretty soon I am on the road to binge happiness.

I guess what really impresses me this time, is how short and mild my "depressed" stage was. Slowly over the years I have worked at shortening and dulling this inevitable part of my emotional cycle. I have been successfully chipping away at it and now I see that I have made a huge dent in it. Yay me.

Guess that's all.

:)