necesito

I am, indeed, a needy person. Mayhaps less so than ever now, but the truth remains. Many happenings have of course occurred on this, my first, week back at cornell. For instance I tried to pretend like I wasn't back together with Evan in any form. That bold truth, once written down, just becomes another item on the long list of reasons I am doomed. It seems that this fine upstanding chap missed me alot/ didnt realize he had broke up with me the second time/ wants to start over. My wondering is if there is any starting over to be had. I have never tried it before, and it indeed sounds like an adventure... much like stepping out onto a stream, that looks half unfrozen but holds you up anyways for a little while, and pretending that you have never seen that stream break and melt beneath your feet before. Quite.

In other news, I have been eating quite healthily, at least to the best of my knowledgely knowledge. Also, the nurses say I have lost six pounds since october. Only 23 pounds to lose in order to return the weight I was maintaining when I entered this fine establishment. From there, if I lose a little bit more weight, I will be one sexy fox. All is possible when I decide so, it just takes a while. They say one pound a week is healthy so that means I should lose all the weight I wish to lose within the year if all goes as planned. Right.

I am also working on the acquirement of a job and looking into writer's workshops for grad school.

I still havent found out anything about car reimbursement, and that is starting to nag me annoyingly, especially with the plentiful calls I am receiving from my mother telling me to do something about it. I dont know, for instance, how I am sposed to get Evan's ornaments from the car before they junk it, when I do not actually have any cars to drive there. Bah... I ignore it because everything is going so well but everything is also already stressful.

Oddly enough, the most pressing of concerns to me right now is the departure, of the finest roommate there could be, from Cornell's treacherous shores. It seems that now the college is conspiring against me and has taken my dear roomie away. She is kicked out. She is leaving today. She is also engaged! David is an awesome guy and I wish them the best of luck, however I now know what it feels like to have somebody close to you get engaged and it isnt entirely welcome. I am above all human, and humans are above all selfish. I miss her already, and greatly. I am worried about her. I hope she will be happy.

I will be mighty lonely mayhaps without a roomie. On the other hand it might be nice. Jess was pretty busy anyways, and I havent actually been spending much time in said room myself. Things prolly wont be much different, unless they decide to assign me another roomie. Any roomie after Jess would seem like a crappy roomie, methinks. Except for maybe you Shannon, I always liked to think we would be fine roomies. Despite what they tell me about best friends not working out as roomies.

Everybody has been wonderful to me this week, and overall I have been having a kick ass time. My spanish class is going well. I feel better physically than I have in forever. Evan is being a sweetheart, as is Freddy for the most part. I got to have speaks with Eddius, and I even got to read "A Grief Observed" by that illustrious philosopher C.S. Lewis. (Hey Freddy-- so there's this guy... and his name is C.S. Lewis.)I will prolly read either "Mere Christianity" or "Screwtape Letters" next. However, Ben also loaned me some book so I might want to get on reading that. I even wrote a poem this week. All in all it was a satisfactory and successful week. I wish to have speaks with you soon, Shannon, if it will be possible.