Happily Ever After

Okay... so I'm not riding off into the sunset sitting behind Prince Charming with my arms around his muscular frame my hair blowing in the wind and the smell of leather and horse blowing back at me headed towards the ivory castle in the clouds where all my dreams come true.

I haven't been published in some awesome journal. I haven't been accepted to the grad programs I am applying to yet. I haven't even reached enlightenment or Nirvana or had some spiritual awakening. Sometimes I even feel sad, or at least like my life is too predictable.

Nobody worships me and nobody is plotting to kill me. My Nietzsche class only meets every other day and in the afternoons, and that is good.

I'm still scared of death, and I still wish I could be a Pirate or at least a Cowboy.

I'm still insecure, though not nearly so much. I am proud of who I am, and where I am going. That's a newish feeling. I feel worthwhile.

I haven't died for some awesome cause lately or even given much to society. I haven't suffered unjustly. I feel liked, though... even loved.

I still want to travel. I still want to be better. I still wish that things were better in general for people in general.

I don't want a small life. I want to learn how to cook more. I need more money.

I haven't climbed a tree in forever.

My facticity still taunts me, but I am not who I have been, and I will be better gradually.

My boyfriend loves me, and that is good.
Sometimes I drink tea, and that is good.
I have awesome friends.
I have a woolen blanket.
I am trying to make a quilt.
Valentine's Day is soon.
I am going to get a Cat when I graduate.
I am going to live a good life.

Leather is awesome.
Fire is awesome.
Warm feet rock my socks off!

My everyday life is satisfying and fulfilling.
You can't look through me. You can't look around me. You can't look past me.
I can look you in the eyes. Sometimes I don't, though. It can be too much.

I want to make a fort.
I want you to hang out in my fort with me.
Together we should be safe in the fort.
Then we should go on to do brave deeds.
What's the bravest thing you've ever done?

Let's drink, and sing, and be merry. Let's feast, and laugh, and remember the good old days.
Let's think until thinking becomes dreaming, and let's be honest about it.

I feel... incoherent, but happy.