nonchalant

I am going to cash my check today so that should be happy. I think I felt too much yesterday and now there is no feeling left for today. Life stretches before me neither as something to dread nor as something to anticipate. It is still unclear whether things will work themselves out or whether everything will fall completely into ruins.

It is cold today so I got to wear my hoodie. Usually that would make me happy but today it just makes me comfortable.

My life is a funny joke. A good movie even. Just sign some sexy lady up to play me. She would do a better job. It would be one of those sappy romance type comedies. It would end happily but fall apart at the beginning of the sequel. It would make emotional women cry and men fall to sleep. I could even come up with a few songs for the soundtrack. Yes, interesting things are happening in my little life at last. For joy! There will be orgies and lesbian sex and an ex-fiance who she still screws around with and a good friend she is also screwing around with and a crazy long distance friend or two and it will be suspenseful. Who will she end up with in the end? And it doesn't really matter who it is. You could bring her fiance back and make it a story about true love. You could hook her up with the good friend and make it about the nice guy winning for once. You could make her a lesbian and she could be all about feminism. She could end up a prostitute independent and strong. The long distance friend could even begin to have passionate phone sex with her and it could result in a crazy twisted relationship which culminated in the wedding of the century. Then again at the end everybody could abandon her and she could either tragically kill herself or find power within herself or you could leave it all mysterious fading out with her laying in her bed pleasuring herself to soft core porn and smiling a wicked smile. It has sex and it has suspense all it needs is a plot and an ending and you are going to sell at least to all the sappy women in this world also to the men who want to see the lesbian sex.

So yeah. I apologize for that random tangent. That's all I've got today.