Non-Systematic Purely Incidental Make Over of the thing Called Me

I like Spring. I like my new apartment a lot. I am happy.

Some of you may recall that I do not like being happy. It's way scary. Besides it makes me lazy. I am one emo-bitch... or should I say a bagel-bitch? Anywho I would like to have more deep thoughts and be more productive. On the other hand the beauty and art I am constructing around me has to count for something. How genuinely and fully happy and alive Bob looks, has to count for something. Being happy and liking things has to count for something.

It is so weird to sit in my new, only-partially-full-so-far, apartment, watching the sun go down on my deck with my flowers (Jethro, Pink, and The Fearsome Geranium Gang), listening to a baseball game being played across the street, feeling so small-town it isn't even funny, and actually liking it. Not wanting to travel or always wanting to end up exactly back there if I do. Exactly in that moment and moments like it. I'm sure it's just a phase.

On another train of thought, the only other train of thought I seem to have lately, any thoughts on what you find alien vs. what you find alienating and what that has to do with your sense of beauty? I'd be interested to know.

Oh, and Shannon rocks my face off!!!! I am seeing the way people move in a whole different way since her post on ballet. All movement seems like a big dance.